Tea Party 2: Elvis is Alive!

Now that I have your attention…

Not that Elvis though. The other Elvis, the one who used to come to the allotment but who hasn’t been for quite some time now, having had to choose between us and a German conversation group and inexplicably opting for the latter. Nevertheless, it was good to see him, and he added a little bit of intrigue to proceedings when, upon being asked how the German was going, he replied that he hadn’t really been doing that for a bit but had been busy with other ‘stuff’, about which he then failed to elaborate. Top secret, or just lying on the sofa eating cake? Who knows?

Matt and Jo also came along and brought a vegan lemon cake. Not, it transpired, because they were vegans, but because they hadn’t had any eggs in the fridge. Necessity etc, and it turned out pretty well. More shocking to Matt than cake without eggs, however, was the concept of Eccles cakes and potted Stilton, as proffered by Andrew and Kirsty. Further quizzing revealed that the whole idea of cheese and fruit cake/mince pies etc struck him as deeply bizarre. Coming from Yorkshire the idea of Christmas cake or mince pies and Wensleydale seems quite normal to me, but a later conversation indicated that Yorkshire was also alien to Matt, which might explain things. Although I only partially overheard, and may have slightly misconstrued, the gist of it was something along the lines of’.’..Ilkley? Where’s that….Yorkshire? Where’s Yorkshire?’ I’m sure he must be fitting in very well in Lancashire.

There was an extensive array of bakery goods provided by the various participants. In addition to the vegan lemon cake and Eccles cakes there was a Cassatta (sp?) cake from Linda, a Ginger cake from Sam, home made bread from Bernie and ginger and chocolate biscuits provided by Jo and Linda respectively. Kirsty also brought some cucumber sandwiches (white bread, slightly rolled, crusts cut off, natch).

Toward the end of proceedings the conversation turned to elbows. This shift was brought on by consideration of future activities and the possibility, in particular, of a trip to Bernie’s dad”s farm for a bit of archery courtesy of the outdoor activity centre there. This possibility stimulated memories of a previous visit and the question of which of the female members of the party had achieved the biggest, purplest bruise on their arm on that occasion. Hence to elbows, and the observation that men’s and women’s are different shapes. A certain amount of empirical study then seemed to confirm this but it was only on returning home and conducting further research that the full facts were revealed. Turns out it’s something called the carrying angle and is a product of the fact that, on average, women have narrower shoulders and wider hips than men. Thus, in order to stop their hands hitting their sides whenever they walk their arms, when held by their sides, bend away from the body at the elbow more than mens’ do. Good for walking, problematic for archery. Who knew?


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