Heatwave Special

During Wednesday afternoon there was a ruffling of feathers.
“Kirsty. Do you want to be on the telly?”
“Pardon?”
“Channel 5 have contacted Linda. Can you go down to the allotment at 10 o’clock tomorrow to talk about the hosepipe ban?”
“Well, I will if they want me to. I’m no expert though.”
Beeeeeeeep Beeeeeep. Alarm fantastic. 8.30am and some brain fug going on. Why is my alarm set during the school holidays? Oh yes, I quickly remember. I search through my sadly woeful array of clothes that are suitable for the allotment and then remember: the corporate T-Shirt.
I arrived at the allotment at 10 am prompt (those who know me may be nonplussed by this). I hurriedly checked my emails to make sure that Linda hadn’t duped me into turning up in order to complete allotment duties without due consent. Within minutes Bernie turned up sporting the corporate T-shirt and then all my fears melted away. Except they didn’t. Sunglasses or no glasses?
It was hot. A sunflower coloured Minnie turned up with camera/sound man Adam. They introduced themselves and then they did a reccy (I believe that is the term). Me and Bernie drank water and felt hot and then were introduced to the beds we would need to dig over on camera. They were heaving with mini frogs.
We watched Linda being filmed and we laughed. She did really well, though, it has to be said. The 999 call really did it for them. Bernie and I dug over two beds. Unfortunately on the telly it looks like I’m tickling muck.
I was rewarded with Kale and courgettes. As we left, a lady from the neighbouring estate asked what the green stuff was. I told her it was Kale. She said “Being Vegan is the way forward.”
I walked home.

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